Ministry Management
Managing and Resolving Conflict
(By Jim
Harper)
"An association of
men who will not quarrel with one another is a thing which
never yet existed."
Thomas Jefferson
Conflict is: "A battle, clash,
a disagreement of ideas or interests."
How many conflicts that were not managed properly
have turned out to be a church split? It has been said that
"if it wasn't for the people I would have a good church."
Conflict doesn't have to be a negative thing. If managed correctly
it can be an opportunity for great advancement. Conflicts
that lead to problem identification and resolution can be
effective for: surfacing prejudices and strife, diffusing
emotion and anger; and locating character and maturity levels.
The following procedure for resolving conflict is designed
to be general in nature. You can apply it whether the conflict
involves yourself, dealing with a peer, someone under your
authority or someone that you are under authority to.
Benefits of Constructive Conflict:
- It identifies problems before they grow larger
and disruptive to the whole church.
- It brings new ideas to the situation.
- It identifies the needs and desires of individuals.
- It challenges people to think through their
feelings and position and become workable with others.
Conflict Resolution:
- You are attacked:
- Stop and pray. You don't have to immediately defend
yourself.
- Look for blind spots in yourself that you may not
be aware of.
- Pray for the other party and identify what their
needs are.
- If the conflict continues, act on it quickly before
it mushrooms.
- Get agreements with the parties that there
is a problem and there needs to be a resolution:
- Don't react but act as a mature Christian leader.
- Resist plans of revenge and to recruiting other to
side with you.
- Don't discredit them.
- Make sure you are seeking resolution with a humble
and sincere heart.
- Set the Ground Rules:
- A goal needs to be agreed upon.
- Be a good listener.
- Each person gets equal opportunity to express himself.
- Be open and honest in communication.
- No generalities. Be specific and supported with examples.
- Control anger.
- Be respectful.
- Stay focused on the real issues.
- All complaints must be supported by facts and not
feelings.
- Accept responsibility for the conclusion.
- Don't allow a defensive or threatening environment:
- There is no room for anger here.
- Use "I" whenever possible instead of "you."
- Gather and clarify all the facts.
- Most conflicts arise from simple misunderstandings.
- Focus on the problem and not the person.
- Identify the boundaries that cannot be compromised
so you don't jeopardize the goals and vision for your church
or ministry:
- Separate the difference between what you want and
what God has commissioned you to accomplish in your
ministry.
- Agree on a compromise that will resolve the
conflict:
- Don't rejoice if you seem to be the winner and the
other party the loser.
- If possible meet the need of the other person or
people.
- Be generous with thanksgiving and praise for them
working out the conflict.
When possible encourage others to resolve the
conflict independently, but with you present to give direction,
feedback and follow up when needed. Are there some potential
conflicts in your staff or congregation? Is there a system
in place to prevent possible conflicts and to resolve them
quickly if some do happen? Don't let a conflict grow until
it divides your congregation!
"If possible, as far as it depends
on you, live at peace with everyone."
Romans 12.18 (The Amplified Bible)
By:
Jim Harper
Missionary/Itinerate Minister
Founder of "Radical Church Growth"
Email:
jhm-acc@cfaith.com
Web site:
www.jimharper.org
U.S. Address:
Jim Harper Ministries
303 East 2nd Street #1032
Skiatook, OK 74070 U.S. phone: (619) 757 9453
We pray that these "Ministry
Management Tips" have been a blessing to you and will
help you grow your church or ministry. You may forward these
to anyone who may benefit from them.
Your feedback and comments
are welcomed. We are looking forward to hearing from you!
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